maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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