there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
