Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Randomize
