He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
