Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
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