Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
