i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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