I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
