you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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