Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
