I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize