I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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