Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
