In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
