he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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