And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
