I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
