What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You have to summon your inner elephant
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
