I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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