Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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