Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he thought i was a dude.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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