and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
