Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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