It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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