i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
