my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
