Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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