In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
