so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
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I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
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"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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