his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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