no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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