So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
