Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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