there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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