I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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