dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
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