I am in a vortex of obligation.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
