i barfeds in our rink
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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