don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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