can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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