normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
