i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
