Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
