By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Randomize
