There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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