Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize