Apparently you make a good broom.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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