OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
