hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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