OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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