epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
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Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
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The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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