You smell like a Billy Joel song
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
