New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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