party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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