you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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