How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
