If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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