I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
where are you?
Hypothermia
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
