he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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