There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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