And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
