you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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