god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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